Born in Islington 1966, Kirsty first started to realise something was wrong with the way people treated her at the age of five. Even her parents gave her a hard time for being feminine. Her grandparents were forced into taking custody and raise her in a safer environment after a traumatic incident involving her father who had put her in a coma with multiple broken bones. Her secondary education was fractured and lonely due to the fact that she was considered to be a sissy and ridiculed. Kirsty didn't exactly get bullied though, she came from a much more deprived and volatile area in London, plus she endured physical abuse at home. Therefore, anyone who made the mistake of trying to hurt her physically or emotionally paid a heavy price for doing so. However, her education suffered because she had lost a lot of time in hospital, running away from home, and refusing to go because it was a lonely hurtful place for her. School life became more tolerable when she befriended a mixed race girl who was also alienated and ridiculed for the colour of her skin. Kirsty took it upon herself to punish those who aimed their hatred to her new friend. Kirsty & Soraya became inseparable until Soraya found love and was warned by Kirsty that her boyfriend was no good. Soraya walked away and wasn't seen by Kirsty until she knocked on her door five years later, a broken and damaged woman. Having been abused by the man that Kirsty warned her against, she fell into Kirsty's arm and was inconsolable. They moved into a flat in Manor Park, East London where they created their safe place looking out for each other.
Soraya asked Kirsty to help her have children and they tried artificially with no success. Kirsty had testosterone treatment to help with her sperm count and they had the pleasure of two daughters. Unfortunately, Soraya died a few years after their second daughter was born. She made Kirsty promise that she would carry on with studying for her degree before she passed away. Kirsty lost her home due to her business struggles with having to juggle being a single parent and keep her farm foods business operating efficiently. She kept her promise and finished her six year Open University studies, graduating with a 2:1 Bsc hons degree in 'Design & Innovation.' Kirsty sold her struggling business and became a Design Technology teacher in Essex secondary schools. After two years of teaching, and her daughters gradually maturing into young women, Kirsty's gender dysphoria crashed down upon her with a force that made it difficult to function. She could hold things together at work but would fall into fits of despair in her own time. This evolved into what she describes as, "blackouts moments." Kirsty would regain consciousness and find shopping bags full of women's clothes. A serene comforting internal calm would envelope her when wearing the clothes she had just purchased. A yearning buried deep inside felt like holding back a tsunami of pent-up emotions. Her artificially created male persona had kept Kirsty locked away for so long that the battle had bought the actor to his knees with no fight left to keep her real personality at bay. The catalyst for change happened whilst Kirsty tried to relax in her bath. She reached for a razor and pressed it to the pulse in her wrist. Desperate to end the lifetime struggle had caused her to decide to end her lifelong pain of being a woman inside a mans body. As she started to press down harder into her pulsing vein, her mobile phone rang and the phone display flashed her youngest daughter's name. She shook herself out the depression and answered the phone. Her daughter's call had reminded her of the fact that her daughters only had one parent to rely upon and provide a secure and loving home.
And so Kirsty was off and running. She explains the first year as her chance to spread her wings and seek new friends. Bursting with life she said, "I was like a large bottle of fizzy drink being shaken for 47 years, and the twist of the bottle top became a volcanic explosion where I rushed out to ,meet the world with such force that I thought I'd explode.' Joining one Transgender group after another, Kirsty quickly found a network of friends and kept spreading her wings and going further afield. Like a social butterflyly she would flutter from one trans girl to the next. Her infectious glee for life did not go unnoticed and she was asked to become a regular singer at a club. Kirsty was amazed that she would be given an opportunity like this. Her male persona was shy and nervous, Kirsty on the other hand, had bags of confidence and a positive attitude to match. She entertained people in various clubs and the customers loved her for it. The one thing that Kirsty craved was a love interest, someone who would be there for her. However, after realising that men would only date her secretly due to being concerned what others thought of them, she stopped dating and became resigned with the fact that she cannot have everything. Her life was like winning the lottery every day. That's how she felt. She made this statement, "can you imagine not being allowed to be the person you are for almost five decades. Then one day you become free?" That's why she usual the analogy of winning the lottery. She felt that what she had given herself was so incredibly wonderful that it was beyond her wildest dreams and literally had to pinch herself to know it was real. Then the moment that rocked her world and made everything ten times better was the day she met Lilly. There was a trans event being staged because everyone knew that lockdown was about to happen. The event was at the Cliff Pub, an LGBT bar in Southend-on-sea. It was a fancy dress 'back to school' party on the 29th August 2020. Dressed in a mini skirt, white shirt and dishevelled tie, resembling an unruly St. Trinians six former, she burst into The Cliff Pub with cheers of welcome ringing in her ears. She said her hellos to countless friends. Hardly able to move around the pub because it was full to capacity. Kirsty stopped in her tracks suddenly. Because before her sat the most adorable, beautiful, creature she had ever set eyes upon. Lilly was sitting on a high bar stool, chatting to a male admirer.
All of a sudden, no one else existed. It was like it was just her and Lilly there. Gathering her composure, Kirsty virtually shoulder barged the male admirer out of the way and intrioduced herself to Lilly. What happened for the rest of the night, Kirsty could not say. She was mesmerised by Lilly's soft detour personality. She couldn't be any different. Lilly was, and still is, the sweetest, most caring, and shy transgirl that completely disarmed Kirsty. Kirsty and Lilly talked, laughed, kissed, cuddled, and did it all over again for the rest of the night. Kirsty drove Lilly home and drove back to her flat in a trance. All she could think about was meeting Lilly again. Within a month Lilly had invited Kirsty to stay with her as Lockdown would make it impossible for them to see each other. So much could be said about the ways they got to know each other, the times spent together during lockdown was a gift so great that Kirsty and Lilly were thankful for the added time together that couple never get normally. From the moment that Kirsty met Lilly to the present day, they have been inseparable. They married two years to the day on 29th August 2022. Kirsty had dreams of entertaining and hopefully owning her own club one day. Lilly was the practical one and found ways for Kirsty's dreams to come true. After some lessons learned and failed attempts, Kirsty and Lilly eventually found a small venue just right for their evolved plan. Their aim was to create an LGBTQ+ bar in Chelmsford. They succeeded and are now the proud owners of Bar Plus. They put smiles on faces every day with their own style of entertainment and sense of fun. If you have never met the couple, then get down to Bar Plus and you will be instantly smitten by the couples enthusiasm, cuteness, and utter joy for life that they both exude. Kirsty and Lilly are Bar Plus. Without them, the bar would just be another Bar. But with them, the Bar becomes a vibrant exciting, ever changing Entertainments bar that people say is the best they have ever been to. The welcoming nature is no accident. Kirsty and Lilly have designed it that way. This bar is a celebration for everyone who has ever had to hide away in shame or fear. Here is where you can all feel at home and happy.
trading company: transpiritdelights ltd - 14750067
3 Bridon close, east hanningfield, Essex. cm38ba 01245 400296
bar plus 159 moulsham street, chelmsford. cm20ld
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